jan reading wrap up

the piano teacher by elfriede jelinek

• 4.5-5 stars?
• thoughts: ok god i know i talk a lot of shit about im so erika kohut vibes but this was so visceral and nauseating to read. my dalliance with malina definitely helped here since they both have this stream of consciousness and frenetic style that's both dizzying and arresting in the way it makes you feel like the prose is a living being breathing right down your neck. i liked the movie enough when i first watched it but i dived into the book with little expectations because as compelling as it is, i felt like i didn't "get" it. and lo and behold. erika kohut as a character is so Much in ways i can barely comprehend. sure something about her is pathological to a degree but she's so achingly human. she's a shifting whirlwind of contradictions with this small glimpse into her life and yet she's an iron wall and i cant seem to get through to her still. like jesus the way jelinek writes her is so batshit insane. and it being semi-autobiographical (IYKYK ANDRE MULLER INTERVIEWS) drives me up the wall a little i think we could get along really well (not)(she would despise me and call me a prematurely shriveled up prune in a thick viennese accent i think). anyway i cant decide between a 4.5 or 5 because idk if i can give it that honor but also is a hall of famer for one of the few books that made me so nauseous i cried. MWAH
• selected quotes:
  • "Erika's mother prefers inflicting injuries herself, then supervising the therapy."
  • "She will prolong her life by the length of her story, even though time will wear on inexorably as she tells it, thus depriving her of the chance to have a new experience."
  • "No art can possibly comfort HER then, even though art is credited as many things, especially as an ability to offer solace. Sometimes, of course, art creates the suffering in the first place."
  • "Every child instinctively heads toward dirt and filth unless you pull it back."
  • "Vice is basically the love of failure. And Erika has always been trained for success, although she has never managed to achieve it."
  • "She seems to be deliberately racing toward her own destruction; it is her final, her friendliest destination. Erika gives up her will."
  • "For Erika, the most profound evidence of love is failure."
  • "Love points the way. Desire its ignorant advisor."

jesus thats a lot sawri

piercing by ryu murakami

• 4 stars
• thoughts: rec'd to me by oomf gin youreinthehouse shoutout<3 first knew about it due to the mia wasikowska/chris abbott movie but put it off so i can read this... also very perfect timing on the universe's part because i was looking for a brand new copy and found a secondhand for slightly cheaper YAS. i brought this everyday to school for the like 6 days i went in and it has this cartoon girl on the cover so im hoping either a) my classmates just assumed it's some manga or b) they googled it on their phones and now think im insane which both slays to me. read this over 3 days on the train and oh its amazing. i love what little of japanese literature i've read because the flow/rhythm of the prose feel so lyrical and concise while conveying so much in its eloquence. anyway excellent pacing and some toe-curling gore but maybe im just a pussy when it comes to reading horror idk. also the rumors are true it IS very romantic to my twisted brain <3 when you and bae are both delusional and driven to varying extreme impulses of self-destruction due to past childhood trauma. will give the movie a go even though i've heard it's bad
• selected quotes:
  • "Everyone's running around comparing wounds, like bodybuilders showing off their muscles. And what's really unbelievable is that they really believe they can heal the wounds like that, just by putting them on display."
  • "Children would struggle desperately to feel love for their parents. Rather than hate a parent, in fact, they'd choose to hate themselves. Love and violence became so intertwined for them that when they grew up and got into relationships, only hysteria could set their hearts at ease."

CURRENTLY READING

• slaughterhouse five
• the jakarta method
• close to the knives
• menguak duniaku

UP NEXT?

• pachinko
• spring snow
• power of the dog
• the great believers (waiting for my copy hehe)